You Don’t Teach Someone How to Swim When They’re Drowning
- Andy Tran
- Jun 1
- 3 min read
I’ve been mentoring for a while now — across government, small business, multicultural communities and community leadership.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned that shapes the way I show up for people, it’s this:
You don’t teach someone how to swim when they’re drowning.
Too often, mentoring becomes about sounding smart. Frameworks. Strategies. Five-step plans. Fancy words.
But when someone is overwhelmed — when business is struggling, confidence is shot, cash flow is tight, or life is simply hitting hard — they’re not looking for a lecture. They’re looking for someone who can help steady the boat.
I’ve seen mentors walk into conversations ready to teach before they’ve even taken the time to listen.
The issue usually isn’t the advice. It’s the timing.
When someone is barely keeping their head above water, they don’t need a masterclass. They need support first.
That’s why my mentoring style has always been about meeting people where they are — not where I think they should be.
Before strategy comes understanding. Before solutions comes trust.
I spend a lot of time listening. Trying to understand what’s happening underneath the surface — the stress, the pressure, the self-doubt, the things people often don’t say out loud.
Because sometimes the most valuable thing you can offer someone is not knowledge. It’s making them feel seen. Heard. Not alone.
Once people can breathe again, everything changes. That’s when confidence starts to return. That’s when they can hear the advice. That’s when growth becomes possible.
Over the years, I’ve realised most of my mentoring naturally follows three stages:
Stabilise — Stop the bleeding first. Focus on the immediate pressure before anything else.
Build confidence — Most people already have capability. They just need someone to help them see it again. Momentum matters.
Stretch — Once they’re steady, now we can talk bigger goals, growth, and what’s possible next.
The mistake I see often is people trying to jump straight to ambition / stretch before the foundations are rebuilt.
Through Oz Biz Network, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside many multicultural business owners who have built incredible things despite enormous challenges.
What they usually need isn’t someone pointing out what’s wrong. They need someone who respects what they’ve already survived and built — and then helps them believe in what’s next.
That requires patience. Humility. And the ability to leave your ego at the door.
I still remember one moment early in my mentoring journey that changed my whole approach.
I walked into a session prepared with answers, strategies and solutions for someone who had taken a major financial hit. I started talking almost immediately.
Then I noticed their eyes glazing over.
Not because the advice was bad — but because they were still carrying the emotional weight of what had happened.
I stopped and simply asked:
“How are you actually doing?”
That question changed the entire conversation.
Instead of me trying to solve everything, they slowly started unpacking what they were really dealing with. By the end of the session, they were beginning to find their own answers. I had simply created the space for it to happen.
That moment taught me something important:
Sometimes people don’t need rescuing. They just need someone beside them while they find their footing again.
So for anyone stepping into leadership, mentoring or community work, I’d encourage you to ask yourself:
Am I responding to where this person is — or where I think they should be?
The best mentors I know are not always the smartest people in the room. They’re the people who know when to speak, when to listen, and when someone simply needs support before strategy.
Teach people to swim, absolutely. But first — help them get back to shore.
Andy Tran is a mentor, board director and community leader based in Melbourne. He is involved in multicultural advocacy, small business mentoring and community leadership through organisations including Oz Biz Network and Afri-Aus Care Inc.